Sunday, January 30, 2011

Aku Ego Ke..atau???


Trus trang sy pening..pening sesangat. Tetiba rs cm nk meletup, mengamuk dll.

Bukak je mata, otak trus jln, terpikir apela yg dia buat kt sana. Nk sedapkan ati, sy text dia. Kdg2, sy doakan dia dr jauh..

Tak tahulah berbaloi ke tak. Bengang pun ada, bila pkir balik.

Adil tak, kalau kita je yg sorg2 pening?HAH? Adil ke?? Sy rs tak.....

That's why, sy nk ckp kt cni, walau ape pun alasan nya, sy tetap x puas hati. Napa sy je yg rs risau?
Nape sy slalu tertunggu2?
Nape sy rs kosong bila sy x dpt khbr brita dr dia??

Eh! Sy tak paham lah! Ape yg ada kt fikiran dia.. ATau, memang sy yg ego?
Ego ngan diri sndiri. Taknak ngaku yg sy rindu? Sy yg tertunggu2.

Ahhhh... Susah. Payah. Bila hati bercampur2.. Ape yg sy hrpkan dr dia?? Atau..memg sy tak patut berharap langsung??

Dia plak! Why is it so hard for U to understand me.. Kdg2 sy rs nk tdo tanpa perlu buka mata. Sebab sy x suka, bila sy buka mata, sy ingat atau pikir !!

Sy pening ng suma nih.. hope kepala otak nih akn kembali betul in a very short while.

I hate it when I am conscious. (tak leh blah pun tak leh blah la..) da memang tuh skg ni sy rs.


me: "pernahkah awk rs bersalah pd sy????"
Him : " erm... why should I???"

............................................................................... :'( ...........................................................

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Mimpi x semestinya indah


Saban hari sy bpkir (ceh.. saban hari tuh) Ape ar yg akn jd esok, kalau sy buat A. cmtu jgk sy pkir, kalau sy buat B, ape kah natijahnya. C, D, E, F, n seterusnye..

Hurm..Pe kes lak sy nk menulis entry psl mimpi ek? Biaselah kn, sume org mimpi.. sape yg x penah mimpi, x tahu lah kan..haha.mslah nye, ade ke?? huh..x cayelah kalo ad sape2 dtg gtau beliau x penah mimpi slama hayat nye??

Hokey! back to the topic. Cane mimpi sy ade kaitan atau kena mengena nye dgn crita hrni? Ohoho..smestinya sbb sy lah yg bermimpi. Kate org.. kalau mimpi x baik, kita seeloknya x bgtau org lain.. kalau x salah sy lah.. tp sbb nye, sy da lupe.. Dlu da ad org gtau sbb2 die..Tapi.. Aku lupa!!!

P/S: kalau ada sesape tahu, leh le ye share2 ng sy.. wpun xdpt adiah pape dr sy, inshaallah dpt pahala sbb bkongsi ilmu Allah yg baru skit berbanding ilmu lain yg terlalu byk d muka bumi nih..

Wah...alangkah tak syok nye mimpi smlam.. tension aku..huhu. itu sahajalah klue sy utk anda.. bkn kedekut ilmu ek, tp berwaspada..Biar jelah sy yg tahu apekah mimpi itu..

Kalo korang mimpi buruk, ade x korang terpikir2 ke...ataupun teringat2, tkenang2 balik mimpi tuh??? Mesti ade kn... kn?? kn?

Ke sy je yg suke sgt pkir ?? Adess.. smpai terbawak2 d alam jaga n nyata.. kdg2 berat jgk kepala hotak ni..nk pk bnda lain lg.. mcm2 la.. hurm....:(

Tp alhamdulillah, allah bg sy keje utk d buat. Jd xde ar terpikir sgt.. Cume, mimpi buruk ni watkan sy berwaspada n sdkit takut... (sikit je)

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... ngantuk. Tp sy kat sekolah. tdo adalah tidak halal bg sy.....

Hurm..Baiklah...........








Thursday, January 6, 2011

Aku TAK Perfect

Mlm td sy mimpi. Mungkin ngigau mcm biasa. Oh, lupe ziema xde plak nk sahihkan.
Klau x, c ziema ni la yg slalu dok royak sy ngigau. Bkn ape, sbb beliau slalu gak la stay up.. rajin bnar terjage klau sy ngigau...

Tetibe rs nk lempang muke org. Bile ht da geram, mule la nk terkeluar bahasa yg "cantik" n "sedap". Sorry lah eh. Sy bkn everytime lembut n sabar. Sy pun manusia biasa, yg sume org tahu boleh rasa ape je bile2 masa.

Hati tuh byk kali berbalik dlm sesaat(betul ke? ) kalau salah hrp d btulkan..

Ade jgk eh manusia yg xleh tgk sy senang? Ape hal???

Sume org ad keje masing2. so tolong ar mind yr own business. Sy memang dah tension ng keje sy, so... jgn menambah lg ye?

Tlg bg org lain space utk buat keje die sndiri. Kalau rs nk sgt amek keje sy skg yg memg memerlukan kesabaran, silakan... sy pun x ingin kalau d bri pilihan..

Bagus bebenar le kalu ade org nk take over.. Sy da memg pening. Tp sy kuatkan jgk hati. Hari2 sy pkir smpai nk pecah kepala hotak sy, psl bnd ni..mengganggu tdo sy, makan sy...n.. sume skali lah. Pendek kata, mengganggu kelangsungan hidup sy...

So, cne sy nak handle bnda ni, is up to me lah kan!! Sy ad tgjwb. n, Sy ade cara sy sndiri, cane sy nk make sure everything is always fine. Org tertentu tu, Jgn ar tahu nk komplen je. Sy yg rs perit, susah, org yg x tahu pape, sy mtk diam. Sblum sy ckp direct kt muke org2 yg byk songeh itu... better bhati2. Jgn ingat sy senyap, sy senyum, sy suka. Ad yg sy simpan dlm hati.. cuma x meletup lg.

So, pkir2 lah sblum berkata n bertindak..Sendiri mau ingat! Apa lah faedah kalau selalu sakitkan ht org ???




Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How can I win your Heart?


2B..what can I do to tackle u..
What should I do to make u happy
Make u notice my presence..
Recognize me as a human
Just like u all are

2B.. Why is it so hard for u to understand
Should I pretend to be happy
While my heart is broken
Every single time..


I don't expect too much
I just want to share something
Some n small thing with all of u..
That all of U didn't even want to know..
even a single word..

i know..
i can see it..
i can smell your hatred...
but i have to admit...
That I don't understand

WHY SHOULD ALL OF U ACTING LIKE THAT?


LIKE I'M A TRASH....



WHY............................????







Monday, January 3, 2011

Akulah Guru itu..

Hari ni, hari yg amat besar bg sy.. Bukan sbb sy nk kawen ke tunang ke..tidak.. tp sbb ape y terpksa sy lalaui hrni membuatkan sy bkn je bukak mata, tp bukak hati n bukak mulut..

Bukak mulut??? Yes.. bukak mulut yg slama ni sy x brp nk bukak luas2.. Tetapi, oleh kerana sy terpksa buat cmtu. Hurm...

Today is my first day in this new year-2011 to be a teacher and meet my students. Before this, i only came to school to do whatever necessary, attend meeting, sold text books, gotong royong sekolah..etc..etc..

Never thought that I will handle one class, with 25 students. Becoming a class teacher is a big experience for me. Since I'm new, i found it very challenging.

Why?? Not bcause everyday i'm trapped in traffic jams, not because I was asked to teach Sejarah... BUT!

Because i have to handle a challenging class. Knp challenging?????

Tuhan sj yg tahu, ape sy rs, bila 25 org "anak" yg sy kena jaga tu merupakan anak2 yg x semudah lidah bkata utk d handle n d conquer. (25 but feel like it's 100)

Ya rabbi ya kariim.. hanya engkau yg mengerti...

Bila sy ckp A, dorg ckp B.. Bila sy marah, dorg diam kejap. Pastu huha huha balik..
Sy x pnh expect 1st day, sy sudah terpaksa menjerit, menepuk meja n memarahi.. bila marah, rs termengah2.. Ingat anak2 sy reti diam lama. tp ternyta tak....

Sy mkn nasi, tp x habis. kepala rs berat, smpai sy x tahu cne sy nk bertindak ng anak2 sy ni.. Sy cube bckp elok2, tp anak2 sy x suke. Dorg lebih suka sy bukak mulut, bru reti diam..

Anak2 ku oi... kalau hari2 cmni, don't u think i will become more n more cruel to all of you???
I hate yelling. but u force me to do a bad thing. You're 25, i'm alone.

I've pointed my fingers to you, i've yelled more than 5 times. Yet, it's still not enough.Oh God. Help me out. I just hope I can cope with this. You know me better than I know myself.

Anak2ku, Im trying now, n later.. to shape u. I've asked for yr favor to give good cooperation to me.. I can still remember what happened today, but I don't know whether all of u still remember what I said or not. I know u're not going to give up in trying to test my patience. You'll not going to stop easily. I know. I know.

It's tiring to do all "these" things every single day.... I can't believe that I'M THE TEACHER.

All teachers are "afraid" to be yr class teachers. before this... I wonder WHY is it so??? But NOW, I can TRULY UNDERSTAND....

Anak2ku...please..jgn slalu loyar buruk dlm kelas. I'm afraid i Can't stand it....





Saturday, January 1, 2011

Tahniah Syahir!



Congrats to my brother, Ahmad Syahir ats keputusan SMU nyer- 8A 2B. hehe.. Dgn adik bradik , sy mbahasakn diri sy ng mereka hanyelah ngan "aku" n "mung"..

Syahir, Lain kali buat lg..Inshaallah dale SPM nati. Bnd elok xpe buat slalu, bnda x baik jgn cubo2 plok nk buat. .

Sbg phargaan kpd mung, abah blanja makanan kegemaran mung... haha. mung meme payoh x supo ore lain, make ayam jah. kalu dok gak, x make la mung. So lg makanan ruji mung, big apple.. takpolah, ikut mung lah, asal mung ngaji sungguh lg lain kali..

Hrni abah beli big apple ko mung, lpah SPM nati biar abah beli hadioh hok best lagi.. Maybe cok cakul ko, keto tolok ko, ataupun hadioh kegemare mung seperti Jefferson, Adidas, Nike, Dolce n Gabbana, etc..(hok tu jh aku tahu barang2 kesayangan mung)....

Good luck my bro! Do your best in SPM this year.. :)